Kuroshitsuji 1 – Unexpectedly delectable but…

I wasn’t going to write anything about the new season just yet but I have to post about Kuroshitsuji because episode 1 was almost the best first episode I’ve seen so far. It was so very close to blowing nearly everything else out of the water.

So what bumped this show from amazing down to just pretty good?

Read on and be spoiled.

The problem wasn’t with the refined vegetable peeling which made Martha Stewart cry bitter, jealous, shameful tears.

It wasn’t that there were approximately 87% fewer homoerotic undertones than I was expecting.

It wasn’t the deliciously sadistic board game which makes every other game look dull in comparison. Forget about “don’t pass go”, this is “don’t pass go and have your limbs crippled… in real life”. Now that’s fun for the whole family.

And it certainly wasn’t this ridiculously dramatic scene in which the butler yanked the entire tablecloth off without knocking over a single plate or glass.

No, the problem was that this guy didn’t die. See, he comes to the mansion and asks the head of the house Ciel, that kid with the eyepatch, for money for a business venture. But really he’s a Bad Man just trying to swindle Ciel out of money. So what do Ciel and his perfect butler do to him? Like Jumanji but crueler, they make him experience the horrible things that happened during the board game he and Ciel played earlier.

First he starts seeing faces in the portraits, then he trips and breaks a leg and finally the butler locks him in an oven and turns on the heat. It’s all very creepy and dark. Then just as I’m digesting how horrible it is that the guy just got cooked to a crisp the butler shows up and offers some freshly baked lemon meringue pie to the staff.

It’s a moment straight out of Sweeney Todd and at this point I was simply gleeful.

But then we see the guy hobbling away. What a cop out. I didn’t want him simply scared, I wanted him dead, baked into a pie and served on a shiny platter to the oblivious staff. I should be giving Kuroshitsuji credit for being entirely unpredictable but I’m still too bitter that I was duped. Maybe I shouldn’t have expected the butler to actually be evil (he’s too beautiful, he can’t possibly be truly bad!) but oh how I wanted him to be.  

Putting the lack of cannibalism aside, Kuroshitsuji was surprisingly good. Whether or not I will continue to write about it depends on my impression of episode 2 but I’m cautiously optimistic. The mix of humor with the dark, moody atmosphere should be enough to keep it interesting. Oh who am I kidding, that’s not why I’m watching. I’m watching for the top hats, the tea and the silverware acrobatics.